We told this story before, but it is relevant once again. (Read how Umar (RA) experienced it here.)

One quiet afternoon, the Prophet ﷺ sat with some Qurayshi women, listening as they spoke freely about their needs, their joys, and their worries.

They laughed and chattered without restraint, almost forgetting his stature and the respect he commanded.

Then Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) knocked and asked to enter.

His booming voice was unmistakable, and the women instantly recognized him.

They retreated behind the curtains in a flurry of movement, their laughter and chatter silenced instantly.

It was as if a breeze had swept through, carrying them away.

The Prophet ﷺ smiled, then laughed, a rare, beautiful sound.

Umar (RA) entered, amused. “May Allah keep you laughing, O Messenger,” he said. “What makes you laugh?”

“I’m amazed,” the Prophet ﷺ replied, “that these Qurayshi women spoke so openly with me, yet at your voice, they hid themselves.”

Umar RA called into the veiled room, “O enemies of yourselves! Shame on you, how can you feel awe for me but not for the Messenger of Allah?”

Behind the curtains, one woman replied, “Because you are sterner and harsher than the Messenger of Allah.”

Their gentle tease broke the tension, and everyone relaxed.

This story shows that the Prophet ﷺ didn’t merely convey a message; he conveyed a sense of belonging.

Only when people felt safe and valued could his words truly take root.

3 Keys to Conversation

Too often, we chase material provisions at the expense of presence.

But no one stands at a loved one’s grave wishing they had left more wealth behind; they say instead, “I wish I’d spent more time with you.”

Time is the ultimate gift, and emotional investment happens through conversation that has three key qualities:

1. Depth
Going beyond small talk, sharing hopes, fears, and real feelings. To make others feel safe enough to open up, we must be willing to open up ourselves.

2. Frequency
Making conversation a regular, natural part of life, not just the routine “How was your day?” but genuine curiosity about their world, experiences, and perspectives.

3. Breadth
Creating space to discuss anything, from the trivial details of the day to life’s biggest questions, even the uncomfortable or controversial topics.

How many of us, especially with our children, actually examine the boundaries we set around what’s okay to talk about and what isn’t?

We build walls instead of bridges if we limit ourselves to only a handful of “safe” topics.

When people in our lives, especially our children, struggle with problems such as substance abuse, self-harm, or depression, they often turn elsewhere for an escape because they don’t feel safe coming to us.

We then ask, “How did this happen?

Why didn’t they come to me?”

We must understand that these issues rarely emerge from nowhere; they usually stem from disconnect, internal struggle, and a lack of conversation.

If we cultivate depth, breadth, and frequency in our conversations, we can catch warning signs early because our loved ones feel comfortable enough to share before things get too serious.

Reacting with persistent anger after the fact is understandable, but offers no benefits.

It almost proves why they never came to us in the first place.

Remember, the Prophet ﷺ didn’t just communicate; he created a sanctuary where people felt heard and worthy.

He passed on a message and, more importantly, a feeling of belonging and worth.

That is the presence we must cultivate in our relationships.

One of gentleness, openness, and unconditional acceptance.