DAILYREFLECTION
It is by mercy from Allah that you were gentle with them. Had you been harsh or hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you.
Researchers studying communication found that every discussion contains multiple conversations happening at once. Three types, usually:
Practical - What's this about? What needs to get done?
Emotional - How do we feel? I need you to understand, not fix.
Social - Who are we? How do we relate to each other?
When two people are having different types of conversations at the same moment, they literally can't hear each other. They can't connect.
There's this cancer surgeon in New York, Dr. Behfar Ehdaie. He'd tell patients with slow-growing prostate tumors, "You don't need surgery. We'll just monitor it." These patients would listen, nod, go home, and come back the next day demanding surgery anyway.
He's a surgeon telling people they don't need surgery, and they still wouldn't listen.
He realized the problem wasn't them. It was him. He was starting every conversation assuming patients wanted medical advice. He never asked what they actually needed.
So he changed his approach. A 62-year-old man came in with a new cancer diagnosis. Instead of launching into treatment options, Dr. Ehdaie asked one question:
"What does this diagnosis mean to you?"
The man talked about his father dying when he was 17. About younger colleagues at work who might see him as already done for. About his grandkids and climate change. Eight minutes of talking, and he never once mentioned mortality or pain or treatment.
Dr. Ehdaie realized: this man needed an emotional conversation. He needed to be heard.
So that's what he gave him. They connected. Then, then, they moved into the practical medical discussion. Seven more minutes, and the patient chose active surveillance. Never looked back.
The lesson? Ask deep questions. Not "What do you do?" but "What do you love about your work?" Not "Where did you grow up?" but "What shaped you there?"
The Prophet (ﷺ) was masterful at this. He didn't just talk to people. He asked about their lives, their hearts, their struggles. He matched whatever conversation they needed.
We can do this too. With our spouse. Our kids. Our coworkers.
Stop asking about facts. Start asking about feelings.
That's where real connection lives.
Reflect On This
Which conversations in our life are breaking down because emotions are going unheard?
Share your reflections in the poll at the end of the email.
WATERMELONWATCH
Palestinians displaced by the Israeli military offensive shelter in an UNRWA school, in Khan Younis, in the southern Gaza Strip.
UN chief António Guterres warned he could refer Israel to the ICJ over actions targeting UNRWA, a lifeline for civilians in Gaza. Even as politics harden, UNRWA and other responders keep trying to sustain food, shelter, and basic services for families with nowhere else to turn.
Aid pallets continue moving through Gaza crossings in large quantities, but access and distribution remain fragile amid damage and restrictions. Still, every successful offload translates into tangible relief as UN partners push supplies toward shelters and overstretched clinics.
Winter storms have worsened hardship for displaced families, with flooding and cold amplifying the shelter crisis. Community networks and aid groups are racing to get blankets and safer cover to people, a small but real buffer against another night outdoors.
QURANCORNER
لَكُمْ دِينُكُمْ وَلِيَ دِينِ
“For you is your religion, and for me is my religion.”
Lakum dīnukum wa liya dīn
A final statement of peaceful disassociation: you follow your way, I follow mine.
Not an endorsement of their belief, but a clear separation in faith.
Truth does not require hostility, it requires clarity, firmness, and respect.