Never Criticize Food, Grow Gratitude at the Table

Introduction

There is something quietly radical about the way the Prophet ﷺ ate.

Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه tells us that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ never criticized any food. If he liked it, he ate it, and if he did not, he simply left it without a word.

No comments about too much salt.
No jokes about “dry chicken.”
No sighs of disappointment when the menu was simple.

In a world where reviews, ratings, and complaints fill our screens, this Sunnah feels almost impossible. Yet this is precisely where the prophetic way reshapes our lives, our homes, and even our mental health.

The Sunnah of Never Criticizing Food

The hadith appears in several collections. In Sahih al-Bukhari, the wording is:

Sunan Ibn Majah places it in a chapter titled “The prohibition of criticizing food.” It is not presented as a minor manner. It is a moral stance.

Notice what the Prophet ﷺ does not do at the table:

• He does not shame the one who cooked.

• He does not dramatize his preferences.

• He does not treat a plate of food as a test of his importance.

For him, food is a gift, not a performance. The cook is a servant of Allah, not a service provider to be rated.

This is where hope and humility in Islam meet. The truly hopeful heart expects good from Allah even in simple meals. The humble heart refuses to place its ego above the hands that prepared those meals.

“Speak of the Blessings of Your Lord”

Allah says:

Scholars explain that this verse includes both spiritual and worldly blessings. We are asked to speak about Allah’s favors in a way that nurtures gratitude, not vanity.

There is a pattern here:

• At the table, the Prophet ﷺ does not criticize.

• In the Qur’an, Allah tells us to proclaim His blessings.

So the prophetic way is not just to avoid negative speech, it is to fill that space with praise:

• “Alhamdulillah, this is such a blessing.”

• “Allah has been generous to us.”

• “May Allah reward the hands that cooked this.”

From the lens of mental health and Islam, this is not only spiritual etiquette. It is also a way of training the mind. Modern psychology shows that a habit of gratitude shifts our emotional baseline toward contentment.

Complaining Rewires the Brain

Dale Carnegie starts How to Win Friends and Influence People with a rule:

He framed it as a rule for influence, but neuroscience now shows something deeper. Constant criticism and complaining does not only harm relationships. It reshapes the brain itself.

Research summarizing work from Stanford and other centers notes that:

• Frequent complaining strengthens negative neural pathways.

• The brain becomes more likely to notice what is wrong first.

• Chronic complaining is linked to higher stress hormones and a more reactive threat system.

In simple terms, neurons that fire together, wire together. If we keep rehearsing complaints, our brain learns to live in scarcity and dissatisfaction.

From an Islamic psychology of resilience perspective, this is striking. Our tradition already warned us against habitual complaint, not because we must deny pain, but because constant negativity corrodes tawakkul and shukr.

The Sunnah of never criticizing food is more than politeness. It is a daily way to protect the heart and nervous system from becoming addicted to complaint.

Gratitude, the Heart, and the Nervous System

On the other side, gratitude is not just a nice feeling. It is a practice with measurable effects.

A large meta-analysis of gratitude interventions found that people who practiced structured gratitude (journaling, letters, reflections) had:

• Better overall mental health

• Fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression

• Higher life satisfaction and more positive mood

Neuroscience studies show that when we experience gratitude:

• The medial prefrontal cortex and related regions involved in decision making, moral judgment, and emotional regulation become more active.

• Circuits linked to reward and bonding are engaged, making us more generous and other-oriented over time.

So when we pause before criticizing a meal and choose Alhamdulillah instead, we are doing at least three things at once:

1. Worshipping Allah through shukr.

2. Protecting relationships from unnecessary hurt.

3. Training the brain for resilience instead of bitterness.

This is the meeting point of mental health and Islam. The path of the Sunnah and the path of sound psychology converge.

Who Are We Really Complaining Against?

Every grain of rice, every drop of water, every thread in our clothes, arrives through a chain of causes that Allah Himself arranged.

• Someone planted.

• Someone harvested.

• Someone transported.

• Someone cooked.

But behind all of them is Ar-Razzāq, the One who provides.

Allah says:

When we complain about food in a way that belittles the blessing, we are not only reviewing the cook. We are commenting on what Allah chose to put in front of us.

This is where perfectionism in Islam becomes a trap. We tell ourselves, “I am just particular, I have high standards.” But at the table, an obsession with perfect taste, perfect presentation, perfect timing can slowly turn into ingratitude.

The Sunnah says: eat if you like it, leave it if you do not, keep your tongue clean.

Shame, Households, and Small Wounds

Many of us grew up in homes where food was tied to shame:

• Children mocked for “eating too much” or “being picky” in front of guests.

• Spouses humiliated for a dish that “failed.”

• Mothers absorbing silent or loud criticism as if a burnt chapati were a moral failure.

These small scenes accumulate. Over time they shape how we view ourselves and one another. People begin to carry quiet wounds around the table.

Part of overcoming shame in Islam is refusing to tie a person’s worth to domestic performance. The Prophet ﷺ never reduced anyone to the quality of their cooking. He did not use food to score points, punish, or assert superiority.

If we want homes that are softer and more spiritual, we can start by protecting the sanctity of the table.

Repentance, Reset, and Returning to the Sunnah

What if we already have a habit of criticizing food?

Our way is never perfection. It is repentance and forgiveness in Islam. We notice, we feel regret, we seek Allah’s pardon, and we repair with people.

• “I am sorry for how I commented about dinner yesterday. It was not right. JazakAllahu khayran for cooking.”

• Quiet istighfar after the meal.

• A conscious intention to follow the Sunnah next time.

Allah loves those who turn back to Him. The Prophet ﷺ taught us that every child of Adam makes mistakes, and the best of them are those who repent. This includes the “small” mistakes at the dinner table.

Applying This Teaching to Our Personal Lives

1. Practice the Sunnah of Silent Leaving
Sunnah:
If the Prophet ﷺ did not like a food, he simply left it without criticizing it.

How to apply:
If a dish is not to your taste and it is not harmful to you, eat a little without comment. If you truly cannot eat it, leave it politely, thank the one who prepared it, and move on.

Spiritual and psychological benefit:
You protect the other person’s dignity and your own heart from arrogance. You also interrupt the habit of automatic complaining, which research shows can wire the brain for negativity and even shrink parts involved in memory and problem solving.

2. Make “Alhamdulillah” a Micro-Gratitude Ritual
Sunnah:
The Prophet ﷺ taught us to begin with Bismillah and end with praise, and he was constantly in remembrance of Allah around food.

How to apply:

• Before the first bite, pause for a full breath and quietly reflect: “This came from Allah.”

• Say Alhamdulillah slowly, with presence, not as background noise.

• Teach children to name one blessing on the table before eating.

Modern science:
Gratitude practices, even brief ones, have been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression and increase overall mental well-being.⁴⁵¹³ This is Islamic psychology of resilience in action, where dhikr and gratitude reshape emotional patterns.

3. Speak of Allah’s Blessings Without Showing Off
Sunnah and Qur’an:
Allah commands, “And as for the favor of your Lord, proclaim it.” (Qur’an 93:11) The Prophet ﷺ also praised simple condiments like vinegar, saying, “What a good condiment vinegar is.”

How to apply:

• At meals, say things like, “Allah has been generous to us today,” or “Alhamdulillah, we never go to sleep hungry.”

• Avoid listing specific luxuries in ways that provoke envy. Focus on Allah’s generosity more than on your possessions.

Modern science:
Expressing gratitude out loud strengthens social bonds and increases altruistic behavior. Families that frame their life as a set of shared blessings tend to have better emotional climate and more cooperative behavior.

4. Turn Mealtime into a Training in Hope and Humility
Sunnah:
The Prophet ﷺ lived simply, sometimes with nothing but dates and water, yet his heart remained expansive and hopeful.

How to apply:

• Accept “ordinary” meals without resentment.

• When the fridge is not full, remind yourself and your family: “Allah has written this for us today, and His promise is that gratitude brings increase.” (Qur’an 14:7)

Modern science:
Reframing difficulties with meaning and gratitude is linked to better coping and lower depressive symptoms. Gratitude practices help people adapt more constructively after hardship.

5. Repair When You Slip
Sunnah:
Our tradition emphasizes tawbah and making amends, even for “small” wrongs.

How to apply:

• If you criticize food, apologize to the cook or host.

• Make a quiet duʿa: “O Allah, purify my tongue from ingratitude and my heart from arrogance.”

• Consider a family “no criticism at the table” agreement for a week, as a spiritual challenge.

Modern science:
Practices of apology and repair are associated with stronger relationships, better emotional regulation, and greater long-term well-being. They also interrupt cycles of shame and defensiveness that fuel stress.

FAQs

1. Does this mean we can never give feedback about food?
No. Islam does not demand silence in the face of harm. If the food is spoiled, unsafe, or causes an allergy, you should speak with clarity and kindness. What the Prophet ﷺ avoided was needless criticism that belittles a blessing.

A useful rule is: correct when there is real harm or necessity, not when your ego is mildly uncomfortable.

2. How does this relate to perfectionism in Islam?
Perfectionism often shows up as “nothing is ever good enough,” including meals. In the name of “standards,” we may crush gratitude and burden others. The prophetic way asks us to pursue excellence in our own effort but to be gentle and appreciative toward the efforts of others.

Let the table be a place where we relax perfectionism and honour the effort, not chase flawless results.

3. Can criticizing food affect our mental health and Islamically grounded resilience?
Yes, when criticism becomes a habit. Neuroscience suggests that constant complaining strengthens negative neural pathways and increases stress reactivity. Spiritually, it moves the heart away from shukr and toward entitlement.

A heart that trains itself to see blessings, even in simple meals, builds both psychological resilience and spiritual contentment.

4. How can families teach children this Sunnah in a practical way?
Model first. Children notice how adults speak about food. Avoid mocking or shaming language. Invite children to say Alhamdulillah and to thank the cook. You can also turn it into a game: “Name three blessings on this table that did not exist here yesterday.”

This embeds hope and humility in Islam into daily life, not just into lectures.

5. What if I feel genuine sadness about financial struggle and simple food? Is that ingratitude?
Feeling sadness or worry is human. Complaining as a habit is different from turning to Allah with our needs. Bring your pain to Him in duʿa, seek halal means to improve your situation, and still try to say Alhamdulillah for what you have.

Our tradition combines honest struggle with trust. We work, we make duʿa, we practice gratitude, and we avoid turning the dinner table into a place of despair.

At every meal, we are given a choice. We can become professional critics, reviewing Allah’s gifts as if they were restaurant dishes. Or we can become grateful servants, seeing each plate as a personal delivery from the One who never forgets us.

The Prophet ﷺ chose the second path. If we imitate him, even a simple piece of bread dipped in vinegar becomes a doorway to Jannah.

Footnotes

1. Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Food, Hadith 5409: “The Prophet ﷺ never criticized any food. If he desired it, he ate it, and if he disliked it, he left it.”

2. Sunan Ibn Majah 3259, “The prohibition of criticizing food,” with the same narration from Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه.

3. Qur’an 93:11, “And as for the favour of your Lord, proclaim it.”. See classical tafsir discussions on speaking of blessings as a form of gratitude, not boasting.

4. Diniz, G. et al., 2023, systematic review and meta-analysis showing that gratitude interventions improve mental health and reduce anxiety and depression.

5. Emmons, R. & McCullough, M., “Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2003, and subsequent summaries of gratitude research.