There are relationships in the seerah that are not merely historical, but deeply human. Among the most tender is the bond between the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and Umm Ayman.

She was not simply a Companion. She was family.

The Prophet ﷺ would look at her and say:

He called her: “Ummi ba‘da ummi”, my mother after my mother.

In a life marked by early orphanhood, loss, and migration, she was the only maternal figure who remained with him from childhood until his final days. And her loyalty was not passive. It was fierce.

Anas ibn Malik رضي الله عنه reported that Umm Ayman would follow the Prophet ﷺ during battles, watching him constantly, like a mother whose eyes never leave her child.

When swords clashed and chaos erupted, she kept her gaze fixed upon him.

At the end of battle, she became nurse and caretaker. She bandaged wounds. She tore pieces from her own garments to wrap the injured. She comforted the broken and strengthened the shaken.

During the Battle of Uhud, when many fled in confusion, she did not run. She grabbed a sword and stood near the Prophet ﷺ, defending him as others retreated.

This was not symbolic loyalty. It was embodied courage.

Modern psychology speaks of attachment bonds that create resilience. The presence of a trusted figure stabilizes the nervous system during trauma. In battlefields filled with fear, Umm Ayman was part of that stabilizing force around the Prophet ﷺ and the believers.

Her love was protective. Active. Unapologetic.

The Prophet ﷺ used to visit her every single day. Imagine that consistency. Imagine that honor.

One day he asked her, “O my mother, how are you?”

Her answer was immortal:

No complaints. No mention of aching feet. No nostalgia for Makkah. No fatigue, though she lived into her late seventies during his lifetime.

Her emotional state was tethered not to personal comfort, but to the wellbeing of the message.

In today’s language, we might call this value-centered living. Psychological research shows that anchoring identity in transcendent purpose increases resilience and reduces anxiety. Umm Ayman embodied this centuries before modern frameworks named it.

Her wellbeing was Islam’s wellbeing.

Despite her courage, she was gentle and humorous. Anas رضي الله عنه narrates in Sahih Muslim that when the Prophet ﷺ visited her home and declined food, she would insist, placing it in front of him and saying, “Eat.” Like any mother.

She was Abyssinian, from what is today Ethiopia, and her Arabic was imperfect. Sometimes she mispronounced phrases in ways that changed their meaning.

Once, intending to say “as-salāmu ‘alaykum,” she said something closer to “salām lā ‘alaykum”, which would mean “no peace upon you.” The Prophet ﷺ gently smiled and told her, “Just say ‘as-salām.’”

On the Day of Hunayn, she meant to say, “Thabbatallāhu aqdāmakum”, “May Allah make your feet firm.” Instead, her pronunciation shifted the word. The Prophet ﷺ laughed and said kindly, “Be quiet, O Umm Ayman, you have a rough tongue.”

Not mockery. Affection.

In another narration, she asked him to carry her, meaning to provide her with a riding animal. He responded playfully: “I will carry you on the child of a she-camel.”

She protested. “A baby camel cannot carry me!”

He replied, “Is there any camel except that it is the child of another camel?”

This was the Messenger ﷺ joking with her even in times of war.

Laughter, neuroscientists tell us, strengthens social bonds and releases oxytocin. It reduces stress and builds trust. The Prophet ﷺ did not separate seriousness from warmth. His leadership was emotionally intelligent.

And she was one of those who brought joy to his heart.

Umm Ayman teaches us something profound about the Islamic psychology of resilience.

Resilience is not hardness. It is devotion anchored in love.

She defended with a sword.
She healed with torn cloth.
She comforted with humor.
She anchored herself in Islam’s success, not her own ease.

Mental health and Islam are not separate conversations. Our tradition produces models of emotional strength rooted in iman. When our identity rests in Allah’s pleasure, hardship becomes meaningful, not meaningless.

Allah says:

Patience in Islam is not passive endurance. It is principled steadfastness. Umm Ayman embodied that sabr.

Here are four Sunnah-rooted practices we can adopt.

1. Visit the Righteous Regularly
The Prophet ﷺ visited Umm Ayman daily.

Consistent companionship builds spiritual immunity. Modern research confirms that consistent supportive relationships reduce cortisol and strengthen emotional regulation.

Choose someone whose presence reminds you of Allah. Visit them. Call them. Stay connected.

2. Anchor Your Wellbeing to Purpose
When asked how she was, she replied, “As long as Islam is well, I am well.”

Practice reframing your stress through higher purpose.

Ask yourself: Is my faith intact? Is my relationship with Allah stable? If yes, then I am fundamentally well.

This is cognitive anchoring grounded in tawhid.

3. Care for Others Physically
She bandaged wounds and tore from her clothing.

Serving physically engages both compassion and embodiment. Studies show that helping others activates reward pathways in the brain.

Volunteer. Feed someone. Physically assist someone in pain.

4. Do Not Lose Your Humor
The Prophet ﷺ laughed with her.

Even in hardship, allow warmth. Humor regulated by adab strengthens community and reduces emotional rigidity.

Joy is not a distraction from piety. It is often a companion to it.

When the Prophet ﷺ looked at her, he was comforted.

When she looked at him, it was with the eye of care.

She followed him through battlefields and through laughter. Through hunger and through migration. Through youth and into old age.

This is loyalty in Islam. Not loud, but lasting. Not performative, but protective.

May Allah allow us to be people whose presence comforts the believers and whose hearts say, “As long as Islam is well, I am well.”

Who was Umm Ayman in Islam?
Umm Ayman, Barakah al-Habashiyyah رضي الله عنها, was a Companion of the Prophet ﷺ who cared for him from childhood and remained with him throughout his life. He called her “my mother after my mother.”

Did Umm Ayman fight in battles?
Yes. She supported the Muslims during battles, cared for the wounded, and during Uhud she defended the Prophet ﷺ when others fled.

Why did the Prophet ﷺ visit Umm Ayman daily?
He loved and honored her deeply. She was part of his household and a source of emotional comfort and familial connection.

What can we learn from Umm Ayman about resilience?
Her life demonstrates purpose-driven resilience, emotional loyalty, courage, humor, and unwavering dedication to Islam.

How does her story relate to mental health and Islam?
Her example shows how anchoring identity in faith and serving others fosters resilience, emotional regulation, and meaningful living.