Salam in Islam is the greeting as-salamu 'alaykum, "peace be upon you", and the person who says it first is praised as being among those nearest to Allah. The Prophet ﷺ said, "Those who are nearest to Allah are they who are first to give a salutation" (Sunan Abi Dawud 5197, sahih). This post covers the hadith, the reply, and the daily habit.
In short
The Prophet ﷺ said the people nearest to Allah are the ones who give the salam first.
Starting the salam is a sunnah, and returning it is required, as Qur'an 4:86 commands.
The reply is "wa 'alaykum as-salam", and the fuller greeting adds "wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh".
Of two Muslims who have fallen out, the Prophet ﷺ called the better one the one who greets first.
The habit costs a few seconds and a little pride, and it is easiest to build with one person a day.
You see them at the end of the corridor. A colleague, a cousin, the brother from the masjid whose name you never caught. Both of you know a greeting is coming.
There is a small pause while each of you waits for the other. Someone has to go first.
A single hadith tells you which of you that should be.
What did the Prophet ﷺ say about saying salam first?
The Prophet ﷺ said that the people closest to Allah are the ones who start the greeting:
Those who are nearest to Allah are they who are first to give a salutation.
The reward named is nearness to Allah. The act is small: a few words, said a second sooner than the other person. In most meetings both people will say salam anyway, so the difference lies in timing and in who takes the first step.
Is it obligatory to say salam first?
No. Starting the salam is a sunnah, while returning it is required (in a group, one reply covers everyone). Allah says:
And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner]. Indeed Allāh is ever, over all things, an Accountant.
So the one who answers fulfils a duty. The one who begins gives something nobody required of them, and the hadith praises the one who begins.
How do you reply to salam?
You reply to "as-salamu 'alaykum" with "wa 'alaykum as-salam", "and upon you be peace". Qur'an 4:86 asks for a reply that is better than the greeting or at least equal to it, so many people answer with the fuller form: "wa 'alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh", "and upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings."
The fuller greeting carries more reward. A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said "as-salamu 'alaykum", and the Prophet ﷺ said, "Ten." A second said "as-salamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullah", and he said, "Twenty." A third added "wa barakatuh", and he said, "Thirty" (Sunan Abi Dawud 5195, sahih).
Where does going first matter most?
Going first matters most where it is hardest, with someone you have fallen out with. The Prophet ﷺ said:
It is not lawful for a man to desert his brother Muslim for more than three nights. (It is unlawful for them that) when they meet, one of them turns his face away from the other, and the other turns his face from the former, and the better of the two will be the one who greets the other first.
Greeting a friend first is easy. Greeting the person who hurt you, the relative you have been cool with since the wedding, or the colleague who ignored your email costs a little pride.
That is where the hadith of Abu Dawud and this hadith meet. For more on repairing these silences, see our piece on the silent treatment in Islam.
Who should you greet?
You should greet both the people you know and the people you do not. A man asked the Prophet ﷺ which Islamic traits are best, and he answered:
Feed the people, and greet those whom you know and those whom you do not know.
That widens the habit beyond friends. The new face at the masjid, the parent at the school gate and the brother who serves you at the shop are all part of it.
Salam is the greeting Muslims give each other, and scholars treat greetings with people of other faiths as a separate question. With neighbours and colleagues of other faiths, good character still applies: return their greetings, and be warm and courteous with the greeting that is natural between you.
Is there an order for who greets whom?
Yes. The Prophet ﷺ gave a simple order for ordinary meetings:
The younger person should greet the older one, and the walking person should greet the sitting one, and the small number of persons should greet the large number of persons.
Another narration adds that the one riding greets the one walking (Sahih al-Bukhari 6232, sahih). This order sets good manners for who should normally begin. It does not stop anyone else from greeting first, and the hadith of Abu Dawud praises whoever starts.
Why does a small greeting carry such a large reward?
The hadith gives the reward without a long explanation, so it is best not to invent one. What we can see is what the habit asks of us.
Going first means noticing people, setting pride aside, and making the opening move toward someone every day. It also fits the way the Prophet ﷺ described Islam's best traits, with greeting listed beside feeding people.
Small, repeated acts like this one shape a community. A masjid where people greet first feels different from one where everyone waits.
The same is true of a home, a workplace and a family group chat. See also the rights of the neighbour in Islam.
How to make greeting first a habit today
Choose your first person: the first Muslim you meet today, at home, at the masjid or on the way out.
Say salam before they do. Say it clearly, with their name if you know it.
Pick one harder greeting for the week: someone you have been avoiding, or someone you always wait for.
Greet first in writing too. Open the next message to a relative or friend with salam.
Teach it at home by doing it. Children copy who speaks first.
A greeting takes a few seconds. The hadith places the one who starts it among the people nearest to Allah, and you can start it many times before lunch.
Frequently asked questions
Who should say salam first in Islam?
The Prophet ﷺ gave an order: the younger greets the older, the one walking greets the one sitting, and the smaller group greets the larger (Sahih al-Bukhari 6234). Beyond that, anyone may start, and he said those nearest to Allah are the ones who give the salutation first (Sunan Abi Dawud 5197).
What is the reply to assalamualaikum?
The reply is "wa 'alaykum as-salam", meaning "and upon you be peace". The fuller reply, "wa 'alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh", adds the mercy of Allah and His blessings, and Qur'an 4:86 asks for a reply better than the greeting or at least equal to it. When men greeted the Prophet ﷺ with fuller words, he counted more reward for each addition (Sunan Abi Dawud 5195).
Is replying to salam obligatory?
Yes. Qur'an 4:86 commands that a greeting be returned with one better than it or at least the same. Starting the salam is a sunnah.
What if two Muslims are not speaking to each other?
The Prophet ﷺ forbade cutting off a fellow Muslim for more than three nights and said the better of the two is the one who greets first (Sahih al-Bukhari 6077).
What if the other person does not reply?
You have still done what the hadith praises by starting the greeting. Keep greeting with good manners; their reply is theirs to give.
Keep reading
Sources
Sunan Abi Dawud 5197 (sahih)
Sahih al-Bukhari 6077 (sahih)
Sahih al-Bukhari 6236 (sahih)
Sunan Abi Dawud 5195 (sahih)
Sahih al-Bukhari 6234 and 6232 (sahih)
Qur'an 4:86, Saheeh International