We’ve all heard ‘act like a man’ at some point, but what does it truly mean?

Our cultures have a habit of labeling emotional expression as “feminine.”

You know the drill, men are supposed to be stoic, stone-faced, and allergic to anything that sounds like feelings.

But that’s not just unfair, it’s a total rewrite of the Sunnah.

The Prophet ﷺ was the definition of strong and brave, but he was also gentle, compassionate, and deeply in touch with his emotions.

There’s this story that always gets me.

The Prophet ﷺ is with a tribe leader, think “alpha male”.

The Prophet’s grandsons, Hasan and Husayn (RA), come running up, and he scoops them into his arms and kisses them.

The leader, watching this, scoffs and says, “I have ten sons, and I’ve never kissed a single one.”

He’s not embarrassed, he’s flexing, like it’s a badge of honor.

Just imagine: ten sons, ten little faces looking up at him, ten times he could’ve bent down and shown a little love.

He’s basically saying, “Look at me, I’ve been a stone wall for so long, I made it through ten kids without a single kiss.”

And honestly?

That takes work.

It’s not easy to keep your heart locked up like that.

You look back at old pictures of your kids and you remember those little moments, you see those chubby cheeks, the wobbly first steps, the wonder in their very first words, and your heart swells with love, tenderness, and awe.

This guy went through all of that and never let himself feel it.

That’s not strength, that’s missing out.

The saddest part is he’s proud of it.

The Prophet ﷺ looks at him and says, “Is it my fault if Allah has removed mercy from your heart?”

Oof.

That’s not just a clapback, that’s a wake-up call.

So why are we showing off about being hard-hearted?

Why do we act like love is a weakness?

The Prophet ﷺ was known across the Arabian Peninsula as “the man who kisses his grandchildren.”

People would come from across the country to Medina to meet the man who wasn’t afraid to show affection.

Imagine being so loving that it becomes your reputation.

And yet, here we are, generations later, with people who can’t remember the last time they told their son, daughter, or spouse, “I love you.”

The Prophet ﷺ said it, lived it, and taught it.

It’s not complicated.

It just requires an open heart.

And here’s the deeper layer: you can’t truly connect with someone or pass on this deen unless you have a heart that can feel and connect.

Scholars say knowledge isn’t just what’s written on paper; it’s what’s alive in the heart.

The message of Islam is from heart to heart.

The Prophet ﷺ showed us that the bravest thing you can do is be gentle, and the wisest thing you can do is keep your heart soft.

That’s the kind of legacy worth passing on.

Want to dive deeper into softening the heart?

Drop a comment below, and we’ll put together a full post on it.