What did the little bird do?

Dinner is loud, and the youngest is explaining a game with a complicated name at great length. We say "mm-hmm" while we finish a message, and they notice. Children always do.

Children measure our love by our attention, and our attention by what we remember. When we ask about the dinosaur by its name and ask again tomorrow, the asking again tells a child their small world was worth keeping overnight.

The talk itself does real work, too. A child speaking and an adult answering, turn after turn, tends to go with stronger activity in the language areas of a young child's brain. And phones that keep pulling us away mid-conversation tend to go along with harder behaviour in little ones.

So picture the dad home late from his shift, sitting on the edge of the bed while his daughter finishes the story of her drawing, or the aunt on a video call learning the name of her nephew's football team. A few minutes and one good question are all either of them needs.

The Prophet ﷺ, the man everyone in Madinah wanted to speak to, kept a running joke with a toddler. He ﷺ called the boy Abu Umair, a name of honour for grown men that rhymes in Arabic with his pet bird, the nughair, and asked after that bird on every visit. Imam al-Bukhari placed it in a chapter on being cheerful with people, and Anas, who served him ﷺ from boyhood, never heard an impatient word in ten years.

First step: this Wednesday at dinner or bedtime, let's ask a child in our life about the thing they care about most right now, by its name, and let them talk for as long as they want.

Reflect on this: What does a child in our life love that we've never asked about?

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